A Horrifying Conspiracy Theory For Your Reading Pleasure (Humor)

Posting on or surfing the internet is dangerous. Readers should be aware that they are closely monitored at all times by CIA plants posing, in some instances, as regular commenters. Financed with off-budget Federal Reserve money printing, they are aided by intelligent bots, developed using secret technology received from the greys. The goal is a new world order under the rulership of Obama, soon to be confirmed Antichrist. Opponents can expect mind control through chemtrails and, if caught, their guns to be seized by foreign troops and deposited in a special closet designated for the purpose in a FEMA concentration camp. With a trio of sixes branded on their hands, they will be compelled to worship the president each Sunday – rain, hail or shine – even when they have better things to do. This is what makes the present post such a risky endeavor.

Readers will be aware that in the fight against the establishment of the new world order, patriots have joined in underground bunkers to develop theory. Once fully tested, these theories are signaled through special code known as words to Fox News, which broadcasts them in the condensed form of talking points that can be picked up by talkback radio hosts and news journalists. In their efforts, they are supported by an army of bloggers who spread the message far and wide into those nooks and crannies of cyberspace not so susceptible to mass-media penetration. This bunker-to-blogger strategy is how the birther and deather talking points successfully reached the sheeple. Without the painstaking theoretical work undertaken in the bunkers, the president’s time-machine travel, planting of birth announcement in Hawaiian newspaper and forgery of birth certificate could never have been convincingly sold to the public.

Readers may also be aware that a team of historians of economic thought have been located in one of these bunkers, poring over collected works of dead economists in an effort to uncover something sensational. For a while, nothing very sensational was uncovered, and food stocks ran dangerously low. Several senior members of the bunker became disgruntled, resigned, and returned to submitting blog posts to the Ludwig von Mises Institute. Of those remaining, there were divisions in the ranks.

Miraculously God, in his wrath, sent the debt-ceiling fiasco, lifting spirits in the bunker immeasurably. Remaining staff, reinvigorated, resolved to continue their serious work.

God’s invisible hand must have guided them, for at last they uncovered something. And what they uncovered is sensational. So sensational that I have agreed to post it here, despite the risks.

The breakthrough came at morning worship, after foot washing but before the songs. During the bible reading, to be precise. In the Book of Revelation, considered by those in the bunker to be one of the more prescient works of the great economists, a beast with multiple heads is described. In the text, one of the heads is said to suffer a fatal wound, only for the fatal wound to be healed. This was not the first time the members of the bunker had pondered the riddle. They had returned to the perplexing revelation many times. But on this occasion they happened to do so while surfing the internet. This enabled somebody to notice something that everybody already knew but that nobody had paid much attention to before:

Karl Heinrich Marx: born 5 May 1818, died 14 March 1883.
John Maynard Keynes: born 5 June 1883, died 21 April 1946.

Oh my! What? No! Surely?

How was it missed for all these years? It should have been so obvious. Marx, after spending a lifetime brainwashing the working class with communist propaganda, died in March of 1883 only to reincarnate three months later as Keynes and deceive the liberal elites as well! The two of him played the classes off against each other as patsies! Now the workers and ruling class alike have been lulled into the same socialist beliefs without even realizing it.

Other stuff begins to make sense now.

All that talk by Keynes about future society learning more from the spirit of Gesell than Marx was just for cover! The new world order and one world government were in the pipeline all that time, concocted in the wickedly devious mind of Marx-Keynes, paving the way for Obama, Antichrist.

By leaving his major work unfinished, Marx was able to obscure the fact that his later ideas delivered in the guise of Keynes were a direct continuation of his earlier ones, merely sugarcoated a bit for elite consumption. No wonder he grew that beard! It aided the ruse no end.

Despite the magnitude of the breakthrough, however, there does remain one concern. Analysts in the bunker worry that the theory is so explosive that even Fox News might balk at its broadcasting. And talkback hosts have been disappeared for less.

That’s where we come in. Those of us hidden away in the nooks and crannies of cyberspace. Those of us with profiles sufficiently low that we might conceivably escape the notice of the ever watching eye.

It’s up to us to get the word out. Maybe there’s still time to turn everything around. If we work as a team, we can turn this theory into the talking point that unravels the world.

Let’s go!