A New Home for Disgruntled Conservatives?

The non-occurrence of a Romney landslide and re-election of Barack Obama in the US presidential election has caused angst in right-wing circles. Any thought by liberals of moving to Canada has been put on hold. It is now disaffected conservatives looking for a new home. In view of the domino-like spread of communism across the globe — I would say, universe — over the past three or four days, in anticipation of Obama’s re-election, it may seem that there are very few promising avenues for such emigres to pursue. I wonder if they might like to consider my home?

This post, though ambitiously filed under the ‘Humor’ category due to its target audience being the kind of irredeemable liberals, or worse, forever lurking in the economics blogosphere, may nonetheless provide guidance for tormented souls asking whether it is still possible to trust anybody in either the mainstream or the conservative media. The Nate Silvers of the world might offer a measure of truth, but only an unpalatable truth. The Glenn Becks deliver pleasant platitudes, but these platitudes have not always aligned perfectly with reality.

This leaves the disaffected conservative in the quandary known as “should I stay or should I go?” We should resist the first response that comes to mind (“Nah-nah-nah-nah, hey-hey-hey, goodbye”) and offer whatever help we can.

We are, after all, bleeding hearts.

Here is one comment I read today in a message forum that gets to the heart of the matter:

where to move?

after last night’s horrible result, I’m convinced this country is going down the shitter. I’d like to move to a non third world country with decent weather. low taxes are an incentive as well. the isle of mann is a possibility although the weather isn’t exactly tropical. Can anyone recommend?

It was on reading this touching appeal that I wondered whether my country could serve as the desired “non third world country”. Only a conservative could know the answer, but consider:

 
Disadvantages of living in my country if a conservative

1. Government has its hands on our public schools, medicare and roads system.

2. There is no Tea Party.

3. The fiscal cliff extends from Dauan Island to the Grampians, a 3,500-kilometre stretch of precariousness.

4. The decimal system.

5. Gun control.

6. Multiculturalism.

7. Too much influence exercised by elites (professors, teachers, social workers, bleeding hearts of all kinds; writers, musicians, artists, film makers; professional student types living it up in share accommodation; the “too good for a job” unemployed, sometimes publicly housed; and street intellectuals shaping sentiment in inner-city soup kitchens).

8. Thirty percent of the press is still NOT Murdoch owned.

 
Advantages of living in my country if a conservative

1. Fox News makes for even better viewing!

(Not only does it tell you what you want to hear, but there is the pride of knowing Rupert Murdoch is homegrown.)

2. My country is like the US without the east and west coasts. A whole country of midwest!

3. Alan Jones > Rush Limbaugh.

4. Very few establishment conservatives to contend with, with their fancy manners and college degrees. Mainly the real thing: unschooled hicks out in the boondocks, the way nature intended.

5. Suburb upon suburb of aspirationals.

6. A small but enthusiastic religious right, with prosperity religion also on offer.

7. Being mean to illegal immigrants is a real vote winner down here!

 

 
In short, a real redneck wonderland:

 

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11 thoughts on “A New Home for Disgruntled Conservatives?

  1. Peter, you are in the running. Disgruntled Americans are threatening to move to the following countries as a result of the re-election of Obama (in order):

    1. Canada — but remember, this is where they also threatened to move to after the Supreme Court upheld Obamacare. So, there is that. And they are gonna LOVE same-sex marriage and a small military. Shhhh!
    2. “Australia”
    3. Colorado. I kid you not.

    http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/signal/where-disgruntled-masses-moving-054624583.html

    ps. You can have them.

  2. Trixie, that’s fantastic. So we edged out Colorado!

    I don’t see what makes Canada so special. I suppose if you’re into “culture” you might prefer it, sure.

    Oliver, same goes for Liechtenstein, I’d reckon. It looks scenic and all, but say you want to lean across your neighbor’s fence and mouth off about boat people or the socialists in Canberra. I’m not sure they’d really get that in Liechtenstein.

  3. Sorry, Pete, but you are missing the potty (and leaving the floor completely splattered!) with this:

    “We are, after all, bleeding hearts.”

    No siree bob, I ain’t no bleeding heart!

    So, disappointed US folks, don’t come here. The place’s full.

    But you guys can try here (it’s warmer than the Isle of Mann):
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Hortus_Deliciarum_-_Hell.jpg

    —–

    But I do have a good sense of humour. The Donald said that “The world is laughing at us”. As I am no Obama fan, I wasn’t then, but I am now. 😀

  4. Magpie: I stand corrected! Or is it that you are “not even a bleeding heart”?

    Trixie: Accuracy of the kind delivered by that tweeter belongs in a Murdoch newspaper. The tweet was “timely”, also. (Timely in that maybe some day in the future we’ll have a president — if we ever become a republic — and timely in that there have been Christian men as prime minister at various points in the past.)

  5. Right Magpie. And as it turns out, these are the same people who call me unpatriotic. Unsurprisingly, they are also the same people that want to secede when their side doesn’t win the White House.

    Perhaps though, what they are trying to do is “succeed” and just misspelling it. Regardless, I would welcome the Republic of Texas. And watch their “small” government slap a tax on them on day one.

    Freedom!

  6. PeterC and all,

    Perhaps I am being tendentious here, but I find this blog (Prof. Robert Paul Wolff’s http://robertpaulwolff.blogspot.com.au/) instructive, erudite and lighthearted, almost endearing.

    Frankly, I admire the old guy. The man excels as a teacher and a writer. If you have some spare time, you’ll thank me for it.

  7. Thanks, Magpie! I’ll check it out when I get a chance.

    Being tendentious, or even just using the word itself, is always welcome around here. 🙂

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