The non-occurrence of a Romney landslide and re-election of Barack Obama in the US presidential election has caused angst in right-wing circles. Any thought by liberals of moving to Canada has been put on hold. It is now disaffected conservatives looking for a new home. In view of the domino-like spread of communism across the globe — I would say, universe — over the past three or four days, in anticipation of Obama’s re-election, it may seem that there are very few promising avenues for such emigres to pursue. I wonder if they might like to consider my home?
This post, though ambitiously filed under the ‘Humor’ category due to its target audience being the kind of irredeemable liberals, or worse, forever lurking in the economics blogosphere, may nonetheless provide guidance for tormented souls asking whether it is still possible to trust anybody in either the mainstream or the conservative media. The Nate Silvers of the world might offer a measure of truth, but only an unpalatable truth. The Glenn Becks deliver pleasant platitudes, but these platitudes have not always aligned perfectly with reality.
This leaves the disaffected conservative in the quandary known as “should I stay or should I go?” We should resist the first response that comes to mind (“Nah-nah-nah-nah, hey-hey-hey, goodbye”) and offer whatever help we can.
We are, after all, bleeding hearts.
Here is one comment I read today in a message forum that gets to the heart of the matter:
where to move?
after last night’s horrible result, I’m convinced this country is going down the shitter. I’d like to move to a non third world country with decent weather. low taxes are an incentive as well. the isle of mann is a possibility although the weather isn’t exactly tropical. Can anyone recommend?
It was on reading this touching appeal that I wondered whether my country could serve as the desired “non third world country”. Only a conservative could know the answer, but consider:
Disadvantages of living in my country if a conservative
1. Government has its hands on our public schools, medicare and roads system.
2. There is no Tea Party.
3. The fiscal cliff extends from Dauan Island to the Grampians, a 3,500-kilometre stretch of precariousness.
4. The decimal system.
5. Gun control.
7. Too much influence exercised by elites (professors, teachers, social workers, bleeding hearts of all kinds; writers, musicians, artists, film makers; professional student types living it up in share accommodation; the “too good for a job” unemployed, sometimes publicly housed; and street intellectuals shaping sentiment in inner-city soup kitchens).
8. Thirty percent of the press is still NOT Murdoch owned.
Advantages of living in my country if a conservative
1. Fox News makes for even better viewing!
(Not only does it tell you what you want to hear, but there is the pride of knowing Rupert Murdoch is homegrown.)
2. My country is like the US without the east and west coasts. A whole country of midwest!
3. Alan Jones > Rush Limbaugh.
4. Very few establishment conservatives to contend with, with their fancy manners and college degrees. Mainly the real thing: unschooled hicks out in the boondocks, the way nature intended.
5. Suburb upon suburb of aspirationals.
6. A small but enthusiastic religious right, with prosperity religion also on offer.
7. Being mean to illegal immigrants is a real vote winner down here!
In short, a real redneck wonderland: