Heteconomist’s Holiday Message 2012

“Happy holidays, everyone.” No. Too obvious. “Merry Chr …” Offensive to some. “Happy New …” Too early. Oh dear. It had been hoped that this would be unnecessary. Either the end of the world or humanity’s ascension into the fifth dimension were supposed to make redundant the arduous task of composing a message of well wishes to heteconomist’s “many” readers. (Actually, there are quite a few of you, which is rather sobering, really.) And the task is arduous. There would appear to be no way to satisfy everybody – or even anybody – considering the incredible diversity of those who hang out here. To emphasize the heart over the head might please some but only taunt the tortured souls of others. Then there is the antisocial element. But, all in all, it is surely an impossible task to cater to everybody. The heteconomist community is a hodge podge. For that no apology shall be made. Just as we will feel no compunction sharing in what may be the most garbled holiday message ever posted to an economics blog.

Now, where to start? Christmas, presumably. Which Christmas song shall it be? Ideally, it will be inoffensive to non-Christians. The safest option seems to be Tim Minchin’s “White Wine in the Sun”, in this case sung by an angelic Kate Miller-Heidke, accompanied by Keir Nuttall. Any Christmas song that includes the line “I have all the usual objections to the miseducation of children who in tax-exempt institutions are taught to externalize blame, and to feel ashamed, and to judge things as plain right or wrong” gets heteconomist’s vote.


At this point, though surely some will have found the song beautiful, others must be climbing the walls, assuming they are still with us. The video was neither dark, nor ambient, nor industrial, let alone tortured:


Where would we be at this time of year if not for frustrations and suffocation, feisty arguments, fragile egos, pubic hair on the pillow, and chauvinistic accusations of penis envy?


Alright. We’ve had sweet, tortured and frustrated. It still doesn’t seem to do justice to everything that we are here at heteconomist. For one thing, the antisocial element is still missing. Perhaps an extraordinarily happy song about adultery would fit the bill?


Yeah, sure. Pubic hair on the pillow, adultery. A likely story. Maybe in the Sixties:


For some at this time of year, there are long journies to be made to places so very far away:


Happy holidays.